arashi no ato

When we moved to Japan, I fell in love. I fell head over heels for the land, for the people, and for the culture. We moved here in the aftermath of the March 11 earthquake and tsunami, and saw first-hand the devastation that each had caused. As we got settled, we became friends with several Japanese locals, many of whom had lost friends and family during the tsunami. We saw the debris on the beaches, heard stories from those who were there, and watched video of the earthquake, tsunami, and the aftermath. We watched documentaries about the kindness and persevering spirit demonstrated by the people during and after, and once we moved here we saw and experienced it for ourselves.

I decided that I wanted my next tattoo to be something that symbolized the enduring spirit of the Japanese. When spring came and the sakura bloomed, it was perfect: these beautiful and iconic blossoms blooming after the long, cold winter marked a symbol of new life. I also wanted kanji, but could not decide for the life of me what I wanted it to say. It had to be meaningful, but I wasn't quite sure what words could sum up what I was feeling.

Meanwhile, Celiac happened. I gradually started feeling more and more sick all the time. There was no relief from the pain and nausea. After countless family doctor appointments and ER visits with negative results, nobody could give me a clear response as to what was wrong. I got to the point where I felt like I'd never feel well again.

After I went gluten free, I slowly started to feel better. When the reactions came, though, they were exponentially worse and lasted longer. One bite of something with gluten would give me physical and neurological symptoms that lasted weeks, and sometimes even months. Finally, around November, things were getting manageable. We had settled into a routine and things started to feel like they were becoming more...normal. Then the corn allergy manifested itself and it felt like the whole cycle was starting again. Panic attacks and depression seemed to be the norm, which was fitting with the long and constant winter. More than 20 feet of snow, and the storm felt like it would never be over.

I know you're probably thinking, all this because of gluten? All I can say is, until you've dealt with an auto-immune disease, you can't know the ramifications.

My faith was tested, my friendships were tested, and I felt like things would never get better. I was doing everything I could, and still it was not improving.

It was a time of helplessness for both of us. I felt helpless because I felt like nothing I did was helping. I felt so out of control. I felt like I was giving all I had to no avail. Ben felt helpless because he couldn't do much to help, as much as he wanted to. We both had to work and interact as if nothing was wrong, and it was completely exhausting.

During this rough time, Ben and I gathered up verses: verses about suffering and verses about healing. I started the 1,000 gifts project to look for joy in the little things. I played music that spoke to my soul. And these small things kept that little glimmer of light in an otherwise dark time.

One of the songs was After the Storm by Mumford and Sons. I've loved them from the first moment I heard them, ironically, in a tattoo shop in Reno years ago. One night, after a particularly long and draining panic attack, the song came on and it just...spoke to me. I'll admit I sobbed. I listened to it again, sobbed some more, and then made Ben listen to it with me. Over and over again. That same night, I was flipping through random verses and Isaiah 25:8 popped up. It, along with Revelation 21:4, also in my group of gathered verses, spoke the same ideas as the song. That night, I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time.

From that moment on, after the storm became my mantra. During rough days, I'd listen to the song and go through the verses. I repeated them to myself. Eventually, I started believing them. This was a passing storm and things would eventually be better.

It's been a few months since then. Spring finally sprang and so did I. I know I already posted a little bit about this in some of my 1,000 gifts posts, but I finally feel like I'm becoming myself again. I feel more happiness than depression.

I haven't had a panic attack in three weeks, which is the longest stretch I've had in over a year. I still have symptoms that will take time to heal (if they ever do) but I'm learning to be okay with that. I am making plans for the future, where before, I was hesitant to do so, knowing I'd probably have to cancel them because of not feeling well. I began taking photography clients again, and am actively planning excursions for our upcoming trip to the states. I have begun to see some good that has come out of having this disease, and have found and bonded with other people who have it as well. I feel like the storm is finally beginning to subside.

That long night, months ago, I found hope and meaning once again. I also found the kanji I had been trying to put my finger on for two years, a phrase that sums up the triumphant spirit of the Japanese after the tsunami as well as my own personal overcoming of the darkest period of my life...

嵐の後, arashi no ato, after the storm

taiko

Today, our base Taiko team came to perform. Some of our students (including one in my class) have been practicing with them to learn a few songs to perform in front of the school. After this, the Taiko team performed some of their favorite challenging songs.

Taiko (太鼓) means "wide drum" in Japanese. The art of Taiko originated as a form of spiritual worship, and it is now used in festivals and even movies. It is very rare that Americans are able to perform with professional Taiko, because the traditional Taiko forbade foreigners from participating. The Dragon-Eagle Taiko Team, coached by Kazuko Igarashi, is Misawa’s Taiko team and is one of the few American teams to have ever performed with Japanese professional Taiko. 

Here is one of the songs they performed:

southernisms 101 -- aka "hymns and sweet tea"

You know you're in the south when you have to differentiate your choice of teas. You can't just say "tea" in a restaurant (or even a fast food joint). You have to say sun tea, hot tea, or sweet tea. It's just one of those things one forgets about when coming from the west.

Another is the fact that when you ask someone how they are, they actually TELL you. At Waffle House, we heard all about the server's long day and her other job. At Cracker Barrel, we heard all about a vacation one of the ladies went on. Even at Walmart, you get the full story and not the western "good, how are you?" that comes so naturally. I LOVE it! It just makes your day wonderful, getting to know people you've never met and share in their lives, even if it's only for thirty seconds.

The last is the music. I was listening to the radio, and they bleep out the funniest words. In Sacramento, the radio stations hardly ever bleep out a word, but here, they can't even say the word "drugs" without getting censored. And they listen to gospel music everywhere! I went to lunch at a Chinese buffet with one of my new coworkers and they were playing worship music! I don't think I've ever heard blatantly religious music in a public place before, other than a religious family-based establishment or religious store of some sort.

Welcome to the south!

thriller

Last night, Ben and I watched Final Fantasy, The Spirits Within. While the movie was ok at best (It was better than I thought it would be, but it will never make my top 10 list...) The special features, though, made the whole hour and 46 minutes worth watching. If you didn't know, the movie is done with 3-D animation in order to look very similar to the video games. There is a special feature in which a short film was created in order to test the movement abilities of the animated characters. In short, they created the Thriller video all over again, using the cast of the movie. It was fricken' hilarious. The facial features, the hands, oh my goodness. I laughed, I cried, I watched it again. This will definitely be one of those amusing memories that will stay with me for quite a while.

And so, my dear friends, I began thinking about wonderful music videos that I have loved in the past. Videos that have also given me wonderful memories -- though not necessarily in the same way this one did. (All of these are ranging from childhood to around high school era-they are the videos that stuck with me even 'till now.)

NOTE: I was originally going to do 10, but being as indecisive as you know I am, I couldn' narrow it down without feeling bad that some of the others didn't make it. So the list is 20-something videos long.

22. Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar.
For the same reason as Thriller, which will be named later, this video rocks! The dance sequence is awesome.

21. Call Me Al by Paul Simon.
So you're sitting there, watching this video, thinking that Paul Simon is just going to sit there while Chevy Chase sings his song. But wait, there's a penny whistle solo and some groovy grapevining to come!

20. “Can’t Stop” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
This video is so pleasing to the eye. There are so many different things going on, so many abstracts, so many bright and vibrant colors, and the song is pretty catchy.

19. Buddy Holly by Weezer.
This is just a classic. Most of the video's footage is actually from the original Happy Days show, and the portions that aren't are flawlessly added in. It's so dorky and happy and just plain wonderful!

18. “Thriller” by Michael Jackson.
I actually posted the link to the Final Fantasy version that I was talking about earlier. You've all seen the original and understand its wonderfulness. Watch this one 'till the end; there's a part where they all make weird faces, and it's to die for.

17. “Like a Prayer” by Madonna.
This was one of my favorite songs when I was younger, and remains one of my faves now. I love the Madonna-before-she-tried-to-hard-to-stay-young-and-hip music she did. This video, as controversial as it was, is simply beautiful.

16. “Don’t Come Around Here No More” by Tom Petty.
I LOVE Tom Petty. I've never heard a song by him that I haven't loved. Several of his videos would have made it on this list if it weren't for all the other worthy competitors. I love this one though. Based on Alice in Wonderland, this video is creepy, comical, and just all-around-Tom-Pettyish. I especially love the part where he cuts the "Alice cake."

15. “1979” by Smashing Pumpkins.
This is one of the quintessential teenage-angst-and-fun videos. It shows various activities teens took action in, from serious to fun. They ranged from spinning donuts in a car, the teenage party scene and the accompanying drama, bowling with soda bottles, and the stupid mistakes teens often make. It's a video that tells a story of what it means to be young and "invincible."

14. “Runaway” by Janet Jackson.
Ok, you may laugh at me, but I LOVED this video when I was a kid. The places she visited, the people she met. Truly amazing and fun and beautiful. And as with most Jackson videos, the choreography was awesome.

13. “Deadweight” by Beck.
First of all, this song is one of those that will stay in your head, in a good way, for days and days after hearing it. The video is simple and complex at the same time. As with most Michel Gondry videos (who, by the way, wrote the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is one of the best movies ever made) is wonderfully created, and tells a complicated, ironic, and beautiful story.

12. “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys. This video is just plain funny. The Beastie Boys, who are extremely reminiscent of Starsky and Hutch, are just a crack-up in what I would call one of the most amusing videos out there.

11. “Natural Blues” by Moby. This video always captivates me. It's got to be one of the best animated videos in creation (I say ONE of the best, because of my number 3 choice.) It's a happy yet melancholy video, where the character sets out on a journey with his trusty dog. He meets many strange and interesting creatures along the way...and you can watch it to see what happens.

10. "Losing My Religion" by REM.
This video is beautiful, surreal, and perfect. The lighting and displays are in-keeping with the tone of the song, the shadowing is amazing, and the band's movements are mesmerizing.

9. “Redundant” by Greenday.
If you haven't seen this one, you need to. It's another story-teller with a simple storyline. While the band is talking about the redundancy of life, the video is showing it.

8. “I’ve Got My Mind Set on You” by George Harrison.
This was my favorite video of all time when I was about 10. The singing and dancing animals ALWAYS got me watching this video over and over. I thought that when I watched it again, after all these years, it would be lame and ridiculous, but I loved it just as much as I did when I was younger. I had forgotten about Harrison's dance sequence and the chipmunk's pipe/sax solo, and I nearly cried I laughed so hard.

7. “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel.
This was one of those just-plain-weird videos that always had so much going on, that you couldn't help but love it. The claymation and animation in this video are awesome. Luckily, when I was a kid, I had no idea what this song was really about, so it's funny to watch the video again, noticing the obviousness.

6. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel.
First off, how can you not love those sunglasses? This video, with all its political innuendos, is amazing with all the different scenes, environments, and people you meet. It really portrays how the times have changed.

5. “Virtual Insanity” by Jamiroquai.
The dance moves are groovy, the illusions are awesome, the song is brilliant.

4. “Everlong” by The Foo Fighters.
Another Michel Gondry video, this one is comical and serious at its core. Dwelling on a couple asleep in bed and the dreams they have, we encounter many of the things we tend to dream about. The video focuses on the way that these strange, unreal elements seem almost normal when you're dreaming. Plus, the main character has home-made nunchucks.

3. “Take on Me” by A-Ha.
Watch the video, and you'll see how revolutionary it was. It was the first semi-animated music video in creation. (Second was Dire Straits' Money for Nothing, which is another classic). It took on the music video world by storm, winning several awards in the 1986 MTV Music Awards. (It, unfortunately, lost Best Video of the Year to Dire Straits.)

2 "Estranged” by Guns’n’Roses.
This is the third video in a trilogy based on the short story "Without You" by Axl Rose's friend, Del James. It's a simply beautiful song and video. While it IS 10 minutes long, the last 2 minutes really make the video.

1. "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim.
Some may laugh that this made it to my number 1. It's a ridiculous song and a silly video. BUT LET ME DEFEND MYSELF! Any video that feature Christopher Walken dancing around (and even flying) is a fine video by my standards. Watch it; I'm sure you'll agree.